An Open Letter to My Wife…Who May Be Trying to Kill Me
To my beautiful and amazingly accomplished wife, I love you and, if there’s one thing I know with any degree of certainty, it’s that you love me too. We vowed to spend the rest of our lives together...
View ArticleOh No, Not Me Too
My wife suggested I write something about #MeToo and Harvey Weinstein, because “you had a reputation in college.” Not, unfortunately, as a gallant crusader for women’s rights. More as a jerk that she...
View ArticleThe Anne Frank Costume is Not Offensive
The fact that an online store was selling an Anne Frank costume is perfect internet fodder. It’s kind of shocking, but in a ridiculous sort of way. It’s the type of story that people read and then rush...
View ArticleForecasted Parenting Trends from 2015 That Didn’t Quite Pan Out
It’s fun to make predictions secure in the knowledge that no one will call you on your bullshit. Well, screw you, Daily Parent. I found your Parenting Trends to Watch for in 2015 and WOW WHAT A BUNCH...
View ArticlePumpkin Beer Season and Living in the Moment
“Uh oh, don’t look, daddy! Don’t look…or you’ll get angry!” my seven-year-old daughter warned me. It wasn’t the first time that day in late August she alerted me to danger. I knew it could be one of...
View ArticleDonald Trump is a Moron Who Thinks There’s a War On Christmas
With all the serious crap going on in the world, it’s important to remember that Donald Trump is so dumb that he thinks there’s a War on Christmas. It’s just a neat little gift that it helps him shore...
View ArticleWhen Another Parent Yells At Your Child
I was on the other side of the room with Simon, so I’m not exactly sure what happened with Penny. I just know I saw her crying and spent the rest of the birthday party comforting her. Luckily, it was...
View ArticleBarney the Tantric Dinosaur (Song Parody)
The dude who played Barney – that big, purple, super annoying, singing dinosaur – now runs a tantric sex business. Because life is weird, boys and girls. I’m sure there’s a lesson to be learned from...
View ArticleInterview with the Inventor of Tradewala, the Fast-Paced Game of Social Satire
If you’ve ever played a board or card game – and I pray that you have – you’ve probably thought to yourself “I bet I could come up with something better than this.” But you don’t, do you?? If you’re...
View ArticleMeeting My Mr. Darcy at Dad 2.0
There’s a tendency at Dad 2.0, like every conference, like pretty every human gathering since the dawn of time, to gravitate towards the people you know, the people you’re comfortable with. But there’s...
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